


Righteous Indignation of a Hutt Betrayed

by Findswoman



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Arguing, Doll Collecting, Dolls, Gen, Hint of past relationship, Humor, Hutts (Star Wars), Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:54:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27079924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Findswoman/pseuds/Findswoman
Summary: No one, butno onecrosses Great Bonvika the Hutt,dahling.
Relationships: Original Character(s) & Original Character(s)





	Righteous Indignation of a Hutt Betrayed

He didn’t understand what he’d done to her, but he would by the time she was finished. It was a matter of trust betrayed—there simply was no other way to put it. No matter that Shorgo Flipstikkillac Jijuga was the grand lorda of Flipstikkillac kajidic and de-facto overlord of all black-market commerce along the Nimstockian Hyperspace Route. He was about to learn that nobody, but _nobody_ crossed Bonvika Deseradii Feolla—Great Bonvika the Hutt.  
  
“Well now, Bonvika, this is... quite a... pleasant surprise.” Shorgo shifted apprehensively as his visitor’s lushly cushioned hover-dais hove forward.  
  
“Shorgo, Shorgo, Shorgo, spare the pleasantries.” Bonvika waved a short, stubby, and immaculately manicured hand. “I have not come here to banter with you.”  
  
“Ah ha ha, my dear lady.” Shorgo tried to sound as casual as he could while trembling inwardly—as almost everyone did when faced with the wrath of Great Bonvika. “There was a time when—”  
  
“Things are different now,” Bonvika answered curtly. “But I know one thing that has not changed. And that is”—here both she and her dais both lunged forward into Shorgo’s personal space—“that you are a treacherous, perfidious scoundrel who gets a lady’s hopes up and _crushes them to bits_ in the maw of your bottomless, baseless, and ABSOLUTELY HEARTLESS GREED AND AMBITION!”  
  
All around the audience chamber, assorted henchbeings, minions, and courtiers reacted with genuine terror. Some gasped, some shuddered, some shifted uneasily, and others found excuses to leave the room altogether. Even Shorgo himself seemed more than a little nonplussed.  
  
At last he spoke. “Pray tell me what this is about, Bonvika. It is considered good business protocol, you know.”  
  
“As though a lowdown lout like you ever cared about good business protocol,” came the icy retort. “But very well. I shall tell you what this is about. This is about a dastardly bait and switch—”  
  
“Bait and switch? Ah, heh heh, certainly there must be some misunderstanding—”  
  
“—a _dastardly bait and switch_ ”—Bonvika continued, unfazed—“that not only humiliated me before the entire governing body of the syndicate and the lordas of three kajidics—”  
  
“N-now, now, certainly you exaggerate—”  
  
“—but also made Grand Duchess Peascodd swear in a huff that she would never do business with me again—”  
  
“Wait—P-Peascodd?” Shorgo was quivering now.  
  
“—because I had made her the _laughingstock_ of the _entire Intergalactic Society of Plangonologists!_ ”  
  
_Plangonologists?!_ A new flash of terror shot through Shorgo as he began to understand. He glanced nervously around, as if to make absolutely certain that most or all of the henchbeings, minions, and courtiers had cleared out of the room. When he addressed Bonvika again, it was in quavering tones.  
  
“N-now l-look here, B-Bonvika... I gave y-you the, er, sh-shipment, ex-exactly as p-p-promised...”  
  
“Yes, you did.” The words were curt and clipped. “And it was full of Cantonica Nights Spacer Sally!”  
  
Shorgo gasped. _Oh poodoo…_ “C-Cantonica Nights S-Spacer S-S-Sally?!”  
  
“Yes, you heard me! Twelve hundred boxes of _Cantonica Nights Spacer Sally_! Not a single Glamor Glitter Meetra to be found!”  
  
_Oh poodoo, poodoo, poodoo._ “Y-you are absolutely, p-positively—”  
  
“Yes, _completely certain._ I even remember the storage bay number. It was thirty-six.”  
  
“Thirty… s-six?” _Oh poodoo, poodoo, poodoo, poodoo, POODOO._ “J-just one m-m-moment…” stammered Shorgo, then cupped his hands around his mouth and bellowed in the direction of one of the side doors, “Athblad!”  
  
“Yes, Y’r Vastness?” A portly, middle-aged male Togruta came bustling up. He wore garish blue dungarees with gold trim, suspenders, and a plain white tesh-tunic, and he carried a large datapad.  
  
“Contents log for storage bay thirty-six, beginning 4.1.933!”  
  
“Right away, Y’r Vastness.” The Togruta’s montrals twitched as he began tapping busily on his datapad for several moments. “Here we go. Storage bay thirty-six. 4.1.933 through 7.8.933: vacant. 7.8.933: twelve cases of Le’Ttam Cantonica Nights Spacer Sally doll with accessories, at one hundred units each—”  
  
“Is this really necessary, Shorgo?” Bonvika cut in.  
  
“J-just let him finish, all-all right?”  
  
“Y’r Vastness…?”  
  
“It’s okay, Athblad, it’s okay, it’s okay. Proceed.”  
  
“Arright, where was I… ah. Twelve cases of Le’Ttam Cantonica Nights Spacer Sally doll with accessories, delivered by heavy freighter _Intership Galactica Aurek-Five._ 9.11.933: contents transferred to scout vessel _Rose Evergreen,_ agent of Bonvika Deseradii Feolla of Gebroila, Nal Hutta. 9.12.933 through 10.18.933: vacant. 10.18.933: nineteen pallets of Korrfun’s All-Star Salky Kibble delivered by cargo vessel _Rusty Hinge,_ agent of—”  
  
“That’s enough that’s enough _that’s enough!_ ” bleated Shorgo. “Er… um… now run a search of all current contents logs! Search terms ‘Glitter’ plus ‘Glamor’ plus ‘Meetra’!”  
  
“Yes, Y’r Vastness. Glitter… Glamor… Meetra.” Again Athblad tapped on the datapad. “All right, here we are. Twelve cases, at one hundred units each, of CoCoToys Deluxe Edition Glamor Glitter Meetra. Storage bay sixty-three. ”  
  
Sixty-three. Not thirty-six, but _sixty-karking-three._ Heaving a long sigh, partly of relief and partly of regret, Shorgo buried as much of his spacious face in his hand as he could. “Bonvika, I am _so sorry._ I am _so very sorry._ This was a miserable, embarrassing error on my part and I _really_ and _truly_ am so, so, _so_ —”  
  
“Shorgo, Shorgo, Shorgo. _Dahling. Enough._ Do you want to make things right?”  
  
“Yes. Yes, Bonvika.” He looked up suddenly and clasped his hands in a supplicative gesture. “With all my heart.”  
  
“Well, then.” She leaned closer to him. “You will get on the comm with Grand Duchess Peascodd right now, right here, in my presence, and explain everything.”  
  
“Y-yes, I shall.”  
  
“Everything. Leave nothing out. Understand?”  
  
“Y-y-yes, understood.”  
  
“And while you do that, please have your manservant here”—she gestured grandiosely toward Athblad—“contact the kitchen and have them prepare us one of those _mahvelously_ scrumptious Lebnan platters for which your banquet table has become so well renowned throughout Hutt Space.”  
  
“Athblad!” Shorgo bellowed again.  
  
“Yes, Y’r Vastness?”  
  
“You heard her. Super deluxe platter number eleven. With extra Bababbb-harvested ghanuj.”  
  
“Coming right up, Y’r Vastness.”  
  
As Athblad popped off through a side door, Shorgo punched some buttons on the comm console beside his dais. Presently the blue-white hologram of a stern-faced, older female Geonosian materialized above it and scowled, “Good afternoon?”  
  
And Bonvika Deseradii Feolla—Great Bonvika the Hutt—leaned back among the luxurious cushions of her own dais with a smug grin on her face, as Shorgo began: “Good afternoon, Your Grace. Listen, about those Spacer Sallys…”

**Author's Note:**

> [Plangonologist](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/plangonologist) is a rather obscure but perfectly legit real-life word that means “doll collector.”  
>   
> The dolls—Cantonica Nights Spacer Sally and Glamor Glitter Meetra—are fanon. I have some other early short stories, not yet on AO3, that feature other fanon KOTOR-era-based fancy collector’s dolls: Ultimate Braids Bastila and Silken Elegance Visas.  
>   
> [Korrfun’s All-Star Salky Kibble](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Korrfun%27s_All-Star_Salky_Kibble) is, however, established. I first learned about it from **TheAntleredPolarBear** in a conversation about something else entirely, so thank you, **TheAntleredPolarBear**!  
>   
> [Hutt Lebnan cuisine](https://boards.theforce.net/posts/52279024), including Bababbb-harvested ghanuj, is the creation of **Chyntuck**.


End file.
